Always Fits, Never Returned
The Gift That Always Fits: Love in Marriage
In a world where relationships are often treated as disposable contracts, there's a timeless message that challenges us to view marriage through a different lens. It's a perspective that transforms the very foundation of how we approach our most intimate partnerships.
At the heart of this transformative view is the concept of marriage as a covenant, not a contract. While the world may push us towards a transactional mindset - "you fulfill my needs, I'll fulfill yours" - true marital bliss comes from embracing a deeper, more sacrificial love. This isn't just any love; it's a love modeled after the ultimate example of selflessness: Christ's love for the church.
Ephesians 5:25 encapsulates this beautifully: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her." This verse isn't just a suggestion; it's a command. And with every divine command comes the power to fulfill it, if only we're willing to receive it.
But what does this Christ-like love look like in practice? It's sacrificial, sanctifying, and deeply satisfying.
Sacrificial Love: Just as Christ gave himself up for the church, we're called to give ourselves up for our spouses. This means putting their needs before our own, even when it's difficult. It's about selflessness, not selfishness. In a culture that often prioritizes self-fulfillment, this can feel countercultural. Yet, it's in this sacrificial love that we find the deepest fulfillment.
Sanctifying Love: The text speaks of Christ preparing the church as a bride adorned for her husband. In our marriages, we're called to encourage and support our spouse's spiritual growth. Through prayer, studying God's Word together, and mutual encouragement, we help each other become more set apart for Christ. It's a beautiful picture of two people growing together in faith.
Satisfying Love: The scripture uses two powerful words to describe how we should treat our spouses: nourish and cherish. To nourish is to feed, to rear up, to train. It's about providing not just physical sustenance, but emotional and spiritual nourishment as well. To cherish is to treat with tenderness and reverence. It's holding your spouse's heart as gently as you would cradle a newborn child.
This kind of love isn't conditional. It's not based on what we can get, but on what we can give. It's a love that perseveres even when the other is at their worst. Just as Jesus gave us His best when we were at our worst, we're called to love our spouses unconditionally.
For men especially, this message carries a weighty responsibility. The scripture designates husbands as the spiritual leaders of their families. This isn't about dictatorship or lording over one's wife. Rather, it's a call to servant leadership, modeled after Christ's own example. It's about taking responsibility for the spiritual well-being of the family.
Sadly, many men have abdicated this role, leaving it to their wives or to the church. But true spiritual leadership starts at home. It's asking your wife, "How is God speaking to you this week in His Word?" It's inquiring about her spiritual burdens and how you can help her grow. It's gathering the family for prayer and Bible reading, even if it feels awkward at first.
For women, this biblical model of marriage offers security and value. To be cherished, treasured, and heard "I will be with you always" - these are the assurances that meet a woman's deepest relational needs. When a husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church, it creates an environment where she can flourish.
This vision of marriage isn't just about personal fulfillment. It's about glorifying Christ. Our marriages are meant to be a reflection of Christ's relationship with the church. When we love our spouses sacrificially, we're painting a picture of the gospel for the world to see.
Of course, this kind of love isn't easy. Marriage is hard work. It requires daily commitment and often feels like swimming against the cultural current. But here's the beautiful truth: we're not left to our own devices. The same God who commands us to love provides the power to do so. As we lean into His grace and seek His strength, we find the resources to love even when it feels impossible.
This transformative love is the gift that always fits and is never returned. It's not about grand gestures or material presents. It's about consistent, Christ-like love expressed in both word and deed. It's choosing to cherish your spouse even when they're not at their most lovable. It's sacrificing your own desires for their good. It's working together towards spiritual growth and maturity.
As we reflect on this high calling, let's challenge ourselves:
Remember, this isn't about perfection. It's about progress. It's about daily choosing to love as Christ loves, relying on His strength and grace. As we do, we'll find our marriages becoming not just more fulfilling, but a powerful testimony to the transformative power of God's love.
May our homes be filled with this kind of love - a love that always fits, is never returned, and points the world to the ultimate love story between Christ and His church.
In Christ,
In a world where relationships are often treated as disposable contracts, there's a timeless message that challenges us to view marriage through a different lens. It's a perspective that transforms the very foundation of how we approach our most intimate partnerships.
At the heart of this transformative view is the concept of marriage as a covenant, not a contract. While the world may push us towards a transactional mindset - "you fulfill my needs, I'll fulfill yours" - true marital bliss comes from embracing a deeper, more sacrificial love. This isn't just any love; it's a love modeled after the ultimate example of selflessness: Christ's love for the church.
Ephesians 5:25 encapsulates this beautifully: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her." This verse isn't just a suggestion; it's a command. And with every divine command comes the power to fulfill it, if only we're willing to receive it.
But what does this Christ-like love look like in practice? It's sacrificial, sanctifying, and deeply satisfying.
Sacrificial Love: Just as Christ gave himself up for the church, we're called to give ourselves up for our spouses. This means putting their needs before our own, even when it's difficult. It's about selflessness, not selfishness. In a culture that often prioritizes self-fulfillment, this can feel countercultural. Yet, it's in this sacrificial love that we find the deepest fulfillment.
Sanctifying Love: The text speaks of Christ preparing the church as a bride adorned for her husband. In our marriages, we're called to encourage and support our spouse's spiritual growth. Through prayer, studying God's Word together, and mutual encouragement, we help each other become more set apart for Christ. It's a beautiful picture of two people growing together in faith.
Satisfying Love: The scripture uses two powerful words to describe how we should treat our spouses: nourish and cherish. To nourish is to feed, to rear up, to train. It's about providing not just physical sustenance, but emotional and spiritual nourishment as well. To cherish is to treat with tenderness and reverence. It's holding your spouse's heart as gently as you would cradle a newborn child.
This kind of love isn't conditional. It's not based on what we can get, but on what we can give. It's a love that perseveres even when the other is at their worst. Just as Jesus gave us His best when we were at our worst, we're called to love our spouses unconditionally.
For men especially, this message carries a weighty responsibility. The scripture designates husbands as the spiritual leaders of their families. This isn't about dictatorship or lording over one's wife. Rather, it's a call to servant leadership, modeled after Christ's own example. It's about taking responsibility for the spiritual well-being of the family.
Sadly, many men have abdicated this role, leaving it to their wives or to the church. But true spiritual leadership starts at home. It's asking your wife, "How is God speaking to you this week in His Word?" It's inquiring about her spiritual burdens and how you can help her grow. It's gathering the family for prayer and Bible reading, even if it feels awkward at first.
For women, this biblical model of marriage offers security and value. To be cherished, treasured, and heard "I will be with you always" - these are the assurances that meet a woman's deepest relational needs. When a husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church, it creates an environment where she can flourish.
This vision of marriage isn't just about personal fulfillment. It's about glorifying Christ. Our marriages are meant to be a reflection of Christ's relationship with the church. When we love our spouses sacrificially, we're painting a picture of the gospel for the world to see.
Of course, this kind of love isn't easy. Marriage is hard work. It requires daily commitment and often feels like swimming against the cultural current. But here's the beautiful truth: we're not left to our own devices. The same God who commands us to love provides the power to do so. As we lean into His grace and seek His strength, we find the resources to love even when it feels impossible.
This transformative love is the gift that always fits and is never returned. It's not about grand gestures or material presents. It's about consistent, Christ-like love expressed in both word and deed. It's choosing to cherish your spouse even when they're not at their most lovable. It's sacrificing your own desires for their good. It's working together towards spiritual growth and maturity.
As we reflect on this high calling, let's challenge ourselves:
- How can we better emulate Christ's sacrificial love in our marriages?
- In what ways can we encourage our spouse's spiritual growth?
- How can we better nourish and cherish our partners?
- For husbands, how can we step up as spiritual leaders in our homes?
- For wives, how can we support and respect our husbands in their leadership role?
Remember, this isn't about perfection. It's about progress. It's about daily choosing to love as Christ loves, relying on His strength and grace. As we do, we'll find our marriages becoming not just more fulfilling, but a powerful testimony to the transformative power of God's love.
May our homes be filled with this kind of love - a love that always fits, is never returned, and points the world to the ultimate love story between Christ and His church.
In Christ,
Pastor Kirk Flaa
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